


till the timer runs out

by rainphee



Category: Metal Gear
Genre: M/M, OH yeah and there’s gray fox/snake but it’s only mentioned by snake in a Retrospective Moment, also meryl is a lesbian, and snake helps her work it out, dave just tell the nerd you love him i swear to god, everything is okay, it wasnt a great relationship they had, references to sexual content, snake is bisexual and thats just facts., snake refuses the gay because he doesnt wanna hurt people, this is an au where snake doesn’t get old fast but doesnt know it
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-22
Updated: 2019-03-28
Packaged: 2019-10-14 06:15:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 5,277
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17503202
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rainphee/pseuds/rainphee
Summary: Snake lives with the knowledge that he’s on a time limit every day.





	1. tundra

There’s a reason why Snake loves Alaska. It’s cold, and quiet, and he’s allowed to do as he pleases, free of the shackles of military control that he’s so very used to. But most of all, it’s _alone_. Out here, nobody knows he exists. Only the dogs would care if he dropped dead on the spot, and he knows he won’t until all of them are long gone. He has that much time, at least.

He likes it that way. Well, like was the wrong word. It was safe that way. It wasn’t kind, and it wasn’t what he wanted, but it was safe, and in his life, that was the best he’d get.

So he stays, alone, in the cold. He waits for the inevitable. He trains his dogs, and works out, and drinks a lot. And that’s just what it is.

Sometimes he considers offing himself before his own genes can do it for him- lord knows he’s already a dead man walking, why drag it out? He doesn't, for about two reasons. One of them is spite. He doesn't want to give his dad, that old bastard, satisfaction when he dies before he absolutely has to. The other is the dogs.

So Snake stays, mostly in limbo, doing mostly the same thing every day, and waits patiently for death.

And then Shadow Moses happens.

He meets Otacon, and he meets Meryl. Meryl comes with him at the end, back to the cabin, and they both swiftly discover that their brief infatuation was fleeting (for Snake) and entirely fictional (for Meryl), who begins to have a gay crisis not long after the event.

At least that’s vaguely entertaining to stumble through, as Snake’s quiet life in Alaska is turned upside down by a woman with red hair and too much energy in her bones. They talk about it a lot. Snake’s known he’s bisexual for many years now, any hangups he might have had about his attraction to men are long gone. Meryl, not so much. She vents to him, and he tries to reply in kind with his experiences growing up, because apparently you can take a Snake away from kindness but you can't take the kindness out of the Snake.

It's somewhere along this line that something dangerous happens. He begins to like Meryl, and the feeling keeps him up at night in a cold sweat. Sure, brief sexual attraction to someone is fine, even if it turns out they don't swing his way. He can deal with it, respect her and her boundaries and her self-discovery, because somehow after all this time Snake is still trying his best to not be a complete tool.

But Meryl is... nice to be around. She's funny, and smart, and enjoyable to talk to. And somewhere, Snake starts being happy around her, because she’s his friend and that apparently scratches an itch so deep in his own psyche he couldn't feel it anymore.

Friends are dangerous, and he knows it. Friends mean he made a mark. Friends mean there's someone left behind to mourn after he’s gone and Snake has seen far too much mourning to stomach someone missing him when that invisible timer encoded on his genetics ticks down to zero.

It’s a relief, then, when it becomes apparent that Meryl is bored here, too cooped up in this little niche in the wilderness, and for a brief few days she’s flitting around like an annoyed firefly until she decides to leave.

He drives her to the nearest city, and they hug briefly. He can smell her shampoo and wants to bury himself in it, bury himself in the simple platonic love they started to share that he hasn’t felt in so very long. In that moment, right before she pulls back and waves as she runs into the tiny busport, he wants to hold her there, beg her to not leave him lonely again. His timer is forgotten. Snake is just a man who wants his friend by his side.

But she disappears behind the sliding glass doors and Snake disappears back to the tundra. And for a little bit, it seems like everything's going to keep going the way it was before her, before Shadow Moses, except the cabin feels a little more empty, the nights a little more cold, the beer doing a little less to fill the void.

And then there’s Otacon. He arrives at Snake’s door bundled up in at least seven layers, shivering so fiercely and looking so pitiful that he doesn’t even ask him why he’s come before he invites him inside.

Once the strongest of the trembling is done and Snake has managed to put a warm mug into his hands, he asks.

“Meryl told me where you were,” Otacon says, blowing away the steam from his tea. “I needed you for something. Plus I wanted- wanted to see you, I guess. Worried about you. Meryl said you were all on your own out here.”

“Been close to her, huh?” Snake huffs. He maybe sounds more irritated than he actually is. “What do you need, then?”

There’s a twinkle in Otacon’s eyes when he looks up at him, something bright and very alive, and it nearly takes his breath away, just for a moment. “I’ve been setting something up. A way to compensate for my sins, I guess.”

“You’ll have to work for a long time to fix that.”

“Ha ha.” He pushes up his fogged glasses with one finger, rubs the handle of the mug with his thumb. Otacon is always moving in some subtle, small way, like he has to siphon out excess electricity. “No, this is something different.”

He tells him. Snake has to go and sit in the snow for a solid ten minutes to avoid punching something, his head buzzing in anger and frustration, but he doesn’t say no, and that’s his first mistake, or maybe his first good choice in a long, long, long time.

He gives Otacon permission to stay overnight, and he does, and looking back on it, that’s when he gave up that quiet life of waiting and began the constant uphill battle to feel alive again.

Because one night turns into two, and then three,and before Snake knows it Otacon has been in his cabin for two weeks. And if he thought Meryl turned his life on its head, he was _dead_ _fucking_ _wrong_. At least Meryl had been somewhat of a soldier, somewhat of a person on the same wavelength as him lifestyle-wise.

Otacon is something else entirely. If Snake doesn’t wake him up, he’ll easily sleep in till noon, and he stays up well into the wee hours working, focused entirely on his laptop. He likes watching cartoons- anime, he says, whatever that’s supposed to mean- although some of them do look pretty interesting. He takes forever to wake up in the mornings and he won’t eat either, unless reminded or driven to starvation by his own scattered mind.

It’s like nothing he’s ever experienced before. His schedule, his plans, are entirely different now, both of their lives molding into something new to fit in with each others’ like awkward puzzle pieces. Snake gripes about it, sure, a lot at first, but there’s never any venom in it. In fact, Otacon shoots back more often than not. It becomes part of the ritual too.

A few months later and the first thought Snake had upon waking up one morning was “I need to wake him up”, and then he realized that he’d fucking done it again, he’d let himself care about someone and have them care for him in turn, and he has to smoke two cigarettes before he can collect his nerves.

Snake knows he’s joined Philanthropy by now. He knows that he’s started caring about Otacon. Normally- just last year, really- this would have sent him packing.

But being here with him is so nice. He likes having someone nearby who’s not afraid of him, he likes waking up knowing that there’ll be someone to fill the space with chatter and simple human presence. He likes it, and something inside of him has shifted, and so he stands there in the cold and stares at the earth below and thinks: “ _I may as well make them last.”_


	2. road trip

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning for literally the most brief mention of huey ever. fuck huey

Traveling like this was pretty intense, even for Snake. He’d spent so long in one place that he forgot what it was like to be constantly moving, never waking up in the same spot. Sometimes it feels like the scenery around them is flashing by faster than they’re actually traveling. 

He wakes up and takes the wheel from Otacon, and drives for a while. Then Otacon will wake up, they’ll break for a meal and then Snake will curl up in the back to catch whatever sleep he can before the cycle repeats. It’s a life on the road, one they’ve built together, a ritual both have slotted into naturally.

Though it’s not exactly ideal, there’s aspects of it Snake finds kind of beautiful, in a way. The landscape is nice, especially at night. There’s something charming about the scenes they pass, little pockets of life both rural and urban that prove to him that the world is still ticking onwards, the machinery of society still moving. That was easy to forget in his line of work.

He sometimes lies awake as Otacon takes the wheel, staring at the van’s LED display, listening to whatever thing Otacon has put quietly on the radio to avoid waking him up. The streetlamps trace his shoulders, his neck, his hair, the gleam of his glasses. 

Those are his favorite moments. They talk often, when they’re awake at the same time, knowing it’ll help the other get to sleep faster. Snake never plays music while he drives, but Otacon always has it turned down to some music station, and Snake quickly learns to love the mixed sound of Otacon’s voice and the staticy tunes of the radio.

Similarly, he likes hearing Otacon’s voice behind him as he drives, soft with drowsiness and a familiarity that has become so dear to him in the recent months. It makes him feel soft inside, hearing him mumble sleepily behind him, talking about whatever makes him happy at the moment. Sometimes, Otacon will say things about him. 

It’s during these drives that Snake learns what happened to Otacon. It’s very late at night, and Snake is driving in an area so far away from any kind of civilization that he’s honestly surprised there’s roads at all. The streetlamps are so far apart that there’s wide stretches of nothing but inky blackness, the headlights of their car only vaguely illuminating stretches of corn on either side.

“I never thought you’d let me in,” Otacon mumbles from the backseat. Snake takes a moment to look back- there’s no cars anywhere near them, he’s not too worried about crashing. Otacon’s face is edged by moonlight, his glasses lying face-down on the car seat. They’ll be smudgy when he puts them on again, but Snake can sympathize with being too tired to care about that sort of thing.

“And why wouldn’t I have?” he replies, keeping his voice low. For some reason, he feels that he should whisper in this air. 

“Never lets me stay. Never get to be around someone long.” Otacon rolls over. “Not after he pulled her in.”

Snake stays quiet.

“Never thought I’d feel at home with someone again. Sometimes feels too much like Julie... You’re not her. You’d never be.”

“Julie? Who was-”

“Snake.”

He looks back again, and there’s a small smile on Otacon’s face, his eyes closed in sleep. Snake realizes that if he’s awake, it’s only just barely.

“Thank you...”

Snake’s eyes flick to the road, the vast emptiness outside the car, and then takes one hand off the wheel, reaching behind to brush his fingers over Otacon’s knuckles. He doesn’t react, other than a slight inhalation, his mouth still quirked in a gentle smile.

“Anytime, Otacon.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> things r gonna get SPICY next week


	3. hotel

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning: boys got hot under the collar. no description really but snake is a lil emo abut it. also mention of past gray fox/snake in a not super great relationship

Snake isn’t sure wether he’s ruined absolutely everything or not.

He’s lying there, sheets drawn to his waist, knowing he’s stark naked underneath them, staring up at the ceiling. His skin is still buzzing with afterglow, a pleasant feeling that has retreated to his fingertips and a warm pool in the base of his skull.

Otacon is lying next to him, asleep.

So they’d had sex. Surprise surprise. Snake had been attracted to him for a while, and he’d never really been one to hide that kind of thing. But it  _ was  _ a work relationship they had-

Was it? Now he was doubting himself. Snake knew he cared about him more than he should have, given who he was, what was in store. They’d spent nearly a year glued to each other, they were familiar with each other, comfortable in each other’s presence. Were they friends?

Fuck, they were friends. They absolutely were. They were friends and good friends, too, good friends in a way that Snake hasn’t had since Frank.

_ Frank. _

And that’s enough to make him sit up and grapple for the cigarettes that are on the shitty nightstand next to their double bed, even though he knows Hal doesn’t like them. He doesn’t light them, just places one between his lips and chews on it like that’ll do anything. 

Frank. Jesus. He remembers what it was like, back then, both of them younger and heady on fighting and the relative inexperience of youth. Snake had never felt such a bond with anyone before, and he likes to think that Frank hadn’t either. They were inseparable.

And then they’d fucked, and everything had gone to shit. For a bit they’d been happy, both drunk on their attraction to each other, their strong bond. Snake thought he had loved him, back then, and maybe he had, but he hadn’t been able to stop everything from going so, so wrong anyway.

Frank had wanted more, more that Dave wasn’t able to give him, started craving the hurt more than he’d craved Dave himself. He’d beg for him to hit him in the darker moments, and then they became more frequent, and sometimes he would comply because what else could he do? He had been hurting too, and before either of them knew it they were trapped in a horrible loop of pain.

And then he had died and Snake was alone.

He stops chewing on the cig and finally reaches for the lighter, flicks it on, secure in the knowledge that this particular motel is too much of a shithole to have smoke detectors. The cigarette glows warm in the darkness of the room, a smoldering ember, cupped between his hands. Snake feels a brief urge to press it to his skin and see if he burns.

He can’t ruin this. Not again. The thought of everything going wrong, just like before, of losing someone he cares about so deeply- it hurts. He won’t let that happen to Otacon. He  _ can’t. _

But then again, he’s going to lose everyone sooner rather than later. It’s inevitable. He’s a walking time bomb, a detonator waiting to go off. Snake only has so much time until it happens, the thing that keeps him awake at night.

He looks back at Otacon. He looks oddly beautiful, in the shadows, his hair mussed and his spindly limbs in a tangle next to him. His leg is pressed up against Snake’s, and his skin is cool and smooth, bruised from his hands and teeth. He can see the marks he’s left on his neck, blushing pink in the low light, and can feel the similar ones Hal left on him when he rubs his throat with his free hand.

It had been nice. It had been really nice. He hadn’t expected their bodies to slot together so smoothly, so perfectly, like missing puzzle pieces made for each other. And it wasn’t like they had forced it on each other. They were adults who were attracted to each other and they wanted to have sex and so they did.

Maybe it wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world, to take the pleasure he can while he’s still here. Maybe it wouldn’t be terrible to feel Hal on his body again sometime soon. And maybe it wouldn’t ruin what they had, and what they would have.

Would have. Ha ha. 

Snake snubbed out the cigarette on the table and laid back down in the dark.


	4. drowned

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> small warning for brief and vague description of drowning.

Snake dies, and the first thing he sees when he wakes up from it is Hal.

He chokes up saltwater and chokes down air, cool and scratching against the rasp of his throat. A copper tang pervades his mouth and he knows he’s torn his throat somehow. Everything aches, every muscle and cell he’s ever owned hurts, he’s crying and it’s impossible to see because he’s soaking wet. He breathes in again, and he’s pretty sure he has at least two cracked ribs. 

Then there’s something against him, pressing close to his aching form, and his eyes clear in time to see Hal’s pale skin, his shock of tangled hair. His face is buried into Snake’s shoulder and he’s sobbing, clinging to him like a life raft, and Snake feels nothing but the intense urge to reciprocate, so he does.

He clutches Hal close to him and they stay there, for a while. Snake actually hears himself rip Hal’s coat slightly from how tightly he’s gripping him, and they’re both shaking so badly it’s impossible to tell who’s doing it more.

Dave buries himself in Hal’s existence because it’s all he wants right now. He thinks maybe it’s all he’ll ever want.

Eventually they separate, Hal’s hands still gripping him fiercely. His glasses are far too wet to see through, and Dave reaches up embarrassingly tenderly to lift them off.

“I thought- I thought you were-“ Hal chokes out, and it’s then that Dave realizes where he is, what had happened. 

They had a protocol. If one of them was compromised, the other would move on. Keep Philanthropy alive. They were fighting something bigger than themselves now, couldn’t afford to let everything they’d worked so hard for to go to waste. That was the protocol. And Hal had broken it.

If he’d had any sense in him, Dave would have scolded him. If he wasn’t in over his head, he would have berated him for nearly ending everything they’d done, nearly destroying their entire mission. But he was wet and soaked in blood and his ribs were broken, and he realized, sitting on the floor of the boat, that he’d have done the same for him.

_ What fools we were,  _ Dave thought, as Hal starts to cry again and presses his face into his wet chest.  _ God, I love him. _

_ I love him. _

The admission was like an electric shock, like a brand on his skin, and he was glad they were both trembling fiercely, because he had to hide his flinch.

No. Snake wasn’t  _ allowed  _ to love. He wasn’t supposed to. Didn’t he hide away in Alaska because he didn’t want anybody to miss him when he was gone?   


Love was off the table, out of the picture. It should have been, anyway. Having casual sex with Hal was one thing- but as he thought about it, he bit the inside of his cheek at his own stupidity. How had he been so blind? How hadn’t he seen it before? The two things were never unattached.

Their friendship, their relations- Snake had been doing his best to get as close to Hal as he could while denying that he was in love. It was almost dizzying now that he had admitted it, a word to the feeling. 

It almost tasted sweet, his mouth full of blood and saltwater.  _ Love.  _ Hal pulled back and his face was wet but he was grinning now, incredulous at their survival, incredulous that they were both here and breathing when it seemed like the world wanted anything but. His eyes, gray and gleaming, shone in the light, and for a breath of a second Dave dared to place his hand on Hal’s cheek, and he leaned into it.

They just sat there like that, staring into each others’ eyes, and Hal opened his mouth briefly like there was something he wanted to say, but there was a sudden noise and they both visibly started. The moment was gone. Snake chased it but the sweetness faded from his tongue too quickly, and he wondered if he would ever get it again.

Hal helped him stand, helped him limp his way out of the boat. His hands were cool and supportive on his chest, and just before they managed to sneak behind a tanker and wait for their next plan, he caught Snake’s gaze and his eyes flashed, moonlit, and so beautiful they made him physically ache.

“Sorry for breaking protocol,” he whispered, and if Snake had been even a tiny bit less lucid he would have dipped him and kissed him right then and there. “I couldn’t-“

Snake shut him up by leaning forward, bumping their foreheads, soaked with salty water, doused in tears. He wanted to get closer. He wanted to love, love, love, fill Hal’s heart with all of the love he had for him, deep and strong and neverending.

But as it was, he just said, “I know,” and they kept moving forwards.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is the last of my pre-written chapters i gotta get MOVING....


	5. home

Raiden always managed to make him feel old. Here he was, just brushing forty, and this kid- this  _ child soldier _ \- was waltzing around with a sword and cold blue eyes and making him feel ancient. 

(He didn’t like feeling ancient. It reminded him.)

This particular safehouse was shittier than most, but being an internationally recognized terrorist did that to people. He and Hal had been bouncing around from hotel to rented apartment, never staying in one place too long, staying connected to their allies by the virtue of the magic known as the internet. 

It was stressful. Very stressful. Times like these always reminded Snake how lucky he was to have Hal as a partner and as a friend, no matter how much he ached for it to be more. He was able to read Hal better than maybe anyone in the world, able to work with him as a smooth, flawless machine. They knew each other intimately. It was more than fitting together- they were  _ made  _ to work together now, tailored specifically to suit. They were a pair, forever.

Snake shook his head and tried to dispel the burning on his cheeks at that thought. Instead he sipped at the mug in his hands, cast his view over to said partner, across their low-lit living room.

Hal is bent over his laptop, eyes masked behind the glare of the screens on his glasses. Snake can see the tension in his back, the hunch to his spine. It’s too late for him to be working like this, but neither of them have ever been healthy with their work habits. His fingers slip, a mistype in whatever sort of code or messaging he’s doing, and he grumbles slightly under his breath and takes a moment to readjust his glasses.

Snake feels like he’s choking, somehow. The love- that word still seems almost cursed- he still held in silence for him rose into his throat, too strong to ignore but keeping his words down anyway. The light caught Hal’s hair and made it a silvery halo.

He knows Hal doesn’t like the smoke from cigarettes, so he takes the one he’s smoking from his lips and crushes it on the nearby dresser. Hal doesn’t really move as Snake approaches, but he does shift slightly as he sits next to him, and leans into his side, still glaring at his screen.

“You’re thinking too hard,” Snake murmurs, pressing their shoulders together. The physical contact makes him want more- more he’s technically had, but there’s something different. They’ve both been on edge ever since the Tanker. Neither of them have spent too much time apart from each other, and Snake gets antsy when they’re apart too long- anxieties creep in, nightmares of Hal’s face underwater instead of his own.

“I’m not,” he complains, but he pushes into him gently, pulling his glasses off his face and rubbing at his hair. There’s shadows under his eyes, ones that speak of grief and too little sleep. “You smell like smoke.”

“Don’t I always?” 

The walls around them broke down slowly, Snake thinks, as their foreheads bump together. Last year he would have never dared to go so close. The year before, he would have never thought that anyone would even  _ let  _ him get close at all. But sitting here with Hal feels  _ right _ . He can close his eyes and pretend that he’s told him how he feels, that the unspoken words he wants to say have been said. He belongs here, by Hal’s side. 

“Take a break. You deserve it, come on.” He reaches over and lifts Hal’s hands from his keyboard. He lets him, not moving, eyes cast somewhere in the distance. He knows that look. He really is thinking too hard.

“Do you think time travel is possible, Dave?” He’s whispering, his eyes on Snake’s face but not looking at him at all. He’s leading up to something, and Snake rubs his thumb on his hand, over the knuckles. 

“No, I don’t.”

If this had been any other time, that would have spiraled into a friendly debate on technology, and the future and past, but now Hal just closed his eyes. “I wish it was.”

Snake stays quiet. He knows Hal will tell him what he means.

“If it was,I could use it to fix all my mistakes. Go back and stop myself from seeing Julie, from making REX, from... there’s so much. Dave. There’s so much I could fix.” Hal bites his lip, and Snake can see the quiver to his chin. “A constant string of fuckups I could get rid of, in the blink of an eye. What a dream.”

They’ve had this conversation before. They both know it ends nowhere. They both know it ends with them still going even through the weight of their regrets is heavy on their minds and hearts. There’s nothing Dave can say to make things better.

But he’s in love, and he’s here, and Hal is warm and comforting against his side, even if there’s tears in his eyes. He presses closer, mind blank, heart opening.

“I don’t wish it was real. I don’t want to mess with the past.”

“Why not?” 

“There’s a chance I wouldn’t meet you,” Dave whispers, and it’s too much too fast, it’s too close to the ultimate truth. But Hal gasps and his eyes finally focus on Dave’s face. His mouth quirks up in a smile- it doesn’t meet his eyes, not quite, but it’s there, and he’s so, so close, and Dave wants them to be closer.

They draw together naturally, like they were always meant to be together, and Dave’s heart sings. Their lips meet and he thinks he might die. They’ve kissed before, but this is different. Usually they kissed in the heat of the moment, overwhelmed by their relationship, something just part of the act and not something to comment on their feelings. But when he closes his eyes and feels Hal press against him, it’s soft and sweet and his heart is full.

They don’t need to speak. Not that night. He just kisses Hal and hopes that one day he knows how much he loves him through his lips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THEY KISSED
> 
> also im really sorry this is so late!!! i got sick and then i got authors block. ill be updating next monday as promised, sorry for the wait again


	6. child

Sunny arrived in their lives like a bolt from heaven, like a strike of sunlight somewhere dark. It was night when Raiden arrived with a bundle in his arms, his body made of metal and his skin pale against the moonlight. He looked tired- so, so tired- and he pushed the squirming, already beginning to cry baby into Hal’s arms and toppled over directly into the side of their couch.

It was difficult, juggling Sunny and Raiden for those first few weeks. Dave took Raiden, most of the time. He didn’t really know how to take care of a baby, and he was scared to try, scared that his rough hands were too much for her soft skin. Like he’d hurt her just by touching her.

But eventually he did have to hold her. It was one of the days where Hal was wrapped up in his work, looking desperately for a safer place for them to stay, keeping his metaphorical ear to the ground. Raiden was sleeping, still recovering from whatever had worn him out all those weeks ago, and in the middle of this peaceful scene, Sunny started to cry.

“Dave?” Hal’s voice piqued Dave’s interest, and he came quickly. Hal was holding Sunny in one arm, bouncing her half-heartedly, eyes trained on his laptop screen. He looks exhausted, and Sunny is wailing, and Dave feels a little awkward.

“Hm?”

“Take her, will you? I can’t do this one-handed.” Bouncing her higher, Hal’s eyes flick to him, clearly expectant. “Ple-eease.”

Dave’s never held a baby before. He had been avoiding Sunny the past few weeks, a tiny thing with a shock of bright silver hair that he couldn’t help but feel antsy around. It was ironic, that such a harmless thing could make him, Solid Snake, the greatest soldier in the world, on edge when so little could.

“Support her head and butt,” Hal says as he reaches forward slowly to take her. She’s surprisingly heavy, a solid little weight in his arms, still crying as he tries to mimic what he’s seen Hal and Raiden do when they hold her.

Sunny fits snugly, and he finds himself bouncing her a little, still hesitant about it. She’s warm and cozy and Dave feels something rise in his throat, something just as soothing and steady as her heaviness in his arms.

Dave can’t sing. Everyone knows that. But he slides next to Hal on the bed, and feels his side press against his, and Sunny just won’t stop wailing, so he hums low and deep in his chest. He hopes she can hear.

He’s not humming anything in particular- just random notes that sound all right together. Sometimes he falls into mimicking simple tunes, tunes everyone knows, gentle melodies reverberating from his throat. Sunny is so little and she is not breaking when he touches her, the claws of his hands not slicing her skin. Dave is holding his baby and he is not hurting her and he never will.

He starts out of it when he notices that Sunny has finally gone quiet and then to sleep, tucked against his chest, and Hal is watching him with a funny look on his face. Dave blinks at him, and his eyes crinkle up behind his glasses, the little squint that people do when they’re looking at someone they love.

“Maybe you won’t make a bad dad,” Hal teases lightly, his hand on Dave’s leg. He’s looking at him like he’s the best thing in the world- him, Dave, the man with night terrors and too-big hands and the ghosts of who he’s killed always behind him.

Dave, who was sitting with him and cuddling a baby and had a big smile on his face.

He leaned into Hal and for the first time in a long, long time, Dave felt well and truly at home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IM SO SORRY THIS IS SO LATE. GOD. anyway take some dad snake as compensation
> 
> last chapter goes up soon! idk when but really soon to compensate for the Lateness of this one. im sowwy again

**Author's Note:**

> “are you crying over solid snake again” yes bitch i am
> 
> check me out at [rainphee](http://rainphee.tumblr.com/) on tumblr or [@rainphee](https://mobile.twitter.com/rainphee) on twoter


End file.
